The Road Rage Diaries

I am to the point where I am ready to break my silence friends. 

My name is Jenni...and I have ROAD RAGE.

A drive to work should be a time of relaxation, where you are either chuckling at the nonsense the radio personalities are talking about or catching up with friends on your way home.

But after spending 10 hours of my week or 40 hours of my month sitting in the comfort of my 2010 V-Dub (VW) driving to el trabajo...I've learned most people must've bribed the driving class teacher in order to have a legit driver's license.

With that being said, I will say that I hate every driver - beside, behind, and in front of me..on my every day drive. 

This, is exactly how I feel about the dreadful drive with Houstonians: 

Before I say this, please find the closest wooden surface and give it a nice little knock for me. I'm not tooting my own horn here friends, but having been behind the wheel for the last 11 years without ANY accidents or tickets, I would like to think I am not the problem here.

So I've come up with a list of things Houston drivers do, that make me want to show them my middle finger...and then some.

Blinkers:

God (and the engineers behind building cars) invented blinkers for one specific reason. It's a simple task to just let the drivers around you know that you are making a turn in that direction. How swell is that? Well, my fellow Houstonians have a real problem with this ridiculously simple task. They are either Paul the Punk who cuts in front of a car without a blinker making the person behind them brake...or they're Careless Carl who leave their blinker on until they arrive at their destination. Either of these, are unacceptable ya'll. Follow these simple steps : "oh I need to turn left" (left blinker on..move lanes...blinker off) Doesn't that feel good? Make sure to repeat this step tomorrow to refresh you memory!

Fast & Furious Drivers: 

Unless your name is Vin Diesel and you're in the set of a movie, there is no need for your out of control driving on the Beltway. I know we are all on a time crunch to get to our destinations, but these Vin Diesel wanna be's think that just because their vehicle has a spoiler and they're jamming Jay Z at 7:15 in the morning, smoking a cig, that it gives them the right to cut in and out bumper to bumper traffic...only to get them 2 cars in front of you. You're such a cool guy, Vin...

Multi-taskers:

We've all been guilty of this. But when it comes to traffic..."aint nobody got time for this!" We have the Busy Bob & Betties...Who couldn't wake up early enough to put on their make up or finish shaving their face. Being behind a Busy Bee is the worst. I would be okay with this BUT because of their distractions, they don't realize 3 cars have just cut in front of them and me, leaving me to honk my horn and hating them for the remainder of my very annoyed drive. 

18 wheeler lane:

If I was an important part of government in Houston, I would make a lane specifically for these vehicles we like to call 18 wheelers. I am am grateful for the materials they deliver which, I am sure I use on a daily basis...BUT that does not give Tom the Trucker the right to get on the fast lane!! Your vehicle has EIGHTEEN WHEELS fool - why on God's green earth do you think your car can go faster than mine?  If there was a lane just for Toms then the rest of the non-Tom world would have less accidents and less middle finger raised in the wee hours of the morning. 

Ahhhhhh now that, it's off my chest & you think I need to be signed up for the next opening in the  anger management class, I hope you realize if you see a gray Jetta...to follow the wise words from my buddy Ludacris and...

So if we could all just work together and follow these simple little rules...we could all get to work at an appropriate time and even Mondays would be worthy of happy dances....

I'm just a simple 20 something year old trying to fix people's grammar and now driving skills....one blog at a time...