Me & my boyfriend, Life

  

As some of my best friends celebrate their first few years of marriage, I celebrate close to three decades with my mate, Life...(whoa.. writing the words "three decades" just gave me the heebie jeebies) Just like any relationship, we have our ups and our downs.  And just when I think I have it all figured out, Life brings me down to the "not so quick there Jenni" & then comes Doubt & Uncertainty following me around like those popular girls in "Mean Girls"

Doubt & Uncertainty are my nemesis. Most people would be surprised to learn this about “Jenni the optimist” but… it’s true. I definitely suffer from the usual sweaty palms, racing heart and the occasional semi-anxiety attack when me & my closest girlfriends discuss getting older. Life just sits there and laughs in our face. So recently, I decided to “challenge” Life. I quit my comfortable job, moved to a new city & started a new job. After all, Life always told me to be adventurous. I guess you could say the new job was fun, but after a few months, I realized it just was not for me. I hated realizing that Life might've been right. Dang it. 

You know when your parents used to tell you the good ole “You win some, you lose some” rule? Which usually followed with you rolling your eyes, half listening to them, wiping the tears from your teenage face & telling yourself “ughh I shouldn’t have told them we broke up…”

Well….. who woulda thunk it? Mom was right once again. (Mom – 836 Jenni – 0)  I admit it….Fine, I was wrong this time. But as a prideful woman in a relationship, I refuse to let Life know I was wrong.  So I sit here plotting how to make something out of this “loss” – and I ask myself :  “What is your DREAM JOB? Like realistically Jenni….none of this..you want to find a cure for cancer (which I totes do) or become the next Guiliana Rancic (which I totes do) “

I mean do I even have a “dream job”? Everyone has one of those right?  Well when I was in 3^rd grade my teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I was a “grown up” being the go-to snacker in my class, I said I want to be a chef. Ummm…I can’t even cook Ramen Noodles without overcooking the .25 cent delicacy. Seems I’ve even crushed poor little Mexican 3^rd grade Jenni’s dream.

Oh Life. Your weird turn of events kind of give me butterflies...in the most unusual way...I take your challenges and raise you triumphs. I sit down with my glass of  Merlot right now & realize I do not have to have a plan, a dream job or even a relationship. 

Yep, that's right. My time to "figure it all out" will come soon. I’ve always treated everyone the way I wanted to be treated. I’ve gone up to the “outcasts” at school and had conversations with them about their day when nobody would give them the time of day just as I would expect someone to do to me if I was an “outcast”. I’ve driven to friends houses with wine and ice cream at 2 AM after they had a bad break up & sat there till 6 agreeing that the guy was to blame because he didn't say "I love you" back. As my sweet boy John Mayer once said, “I believe, that my Life’s gonna see, the love I give..return to me” So as long as my faith is strong, & realize it really is all in God’s plan & all I can do is sit back, drink my wine & enjoy this crazy love/hate relationship with Life. 

(PS- if you’re reading this God….can you uhh.. help a sister out?)

So remember:

-       Have faith

-       Keep trying

-       Keep it simple

-       Laugh at problems….unless its your health…then you should probably get that checked out...

xoxo jenni